


Two and a Half Godfathers

by Treemeadowisobsessed



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Burning Manlol, Friendship, Gen, Pre-ship, Pregnancy, labor, miscarriage(mentioned), sped-up pregnancy, weird technobabble
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-12
Updated: 2014-04-25
Packaged: 2018-01-04 10:41:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1080040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Treemeadowisobsessed/pseuds/Treemeadowisobsessed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Natasha Romanov is a strong, independent woman. She has decided that she's ready to start her own family, and that's just what she's done! Using an anonymous donor who may not be as anonymous as previously thought, she's well on her way. </p><p>But during a routine mission, several of the Avengers are hit by a machine that speeds up cellular regeneration, resulting in a number of hilarious malformations for Earth's Mightiest Heroes, and when it affects Natasha in a far more serious way, the team find themselves in a race against time to save her life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. What not to expect when you're expecting.

  
  
They were assembled. Mostly.Natasha walks into the briefing, slightly later than usual considering she was usually first on the scene.

"You right, Tash?" Clint asks. "You look a li'l peaky."

"I'm fine." She says, sitting down beside him.

"May I continue?" Fury says, voice dangerously low, aiming a pointed glare at the assassins. He catches Natasha's eye and the tiniest ghost of a smirk darts across his features, but the expression is gone before anyone else notices and he gets down to business.

"At 0623hours, S.H.I.E.L.D detected an unidentified energy signature with readings that indicate a potential threat. No other presence has been registered apart from abnormal biological developments for the location. Due to the specific nature of this instrument, we have decided it would be safer to send a more...well equipped team out into the field."

"So do we know anything about the machine at all?" Bruce asks quietly.

"As far as we can detect, it emits some sort of hydrophotonic beam, but we have yet to obtain a sample. We do not yet know if it is too dangerous for human contact. We needed scientists with a _specific_ skill set."

Bruce nodds slowly and smiles a sad, self-deprecating smirk.  
"My science skills, but his invulnerability. Good thing he doesn't have my brains, or you wouldn't need me at all."

"Do not fear, Banner, there are far more great deeds performed by you than by him, though I do enjoy sparring with the green giant." Thor says in an attempt of consolation.

Steve frowns, and Phil cuts in.

"What I believe Thor is trying to express, Bruce, is that while the Hulk is on team Avengers in the public eye, here is where we fly your _Banner_ ."

Everyone groans.

"That was awful"

"Go home, Coulson."

"That may just make me sick."

"That's so touching, ANYWAY-" Tony says, cutting into the moment. "It's time we get our asses into gear. In my case, literally."

The team jumps into action, each member grabbing necessary provisions and case files. Natasha, already being completely prepared (as usual) makes to leave the room. Fury is talking to Phil next to the door, but as she passes, his arm reaches out to brush her elbow, pausing her, all while he is still engaged in discussion with Phil Coulson. She waits, and Phil dismisses himself, smiling warmly at both as he makes his way out. Fury turns to Natasha.

"I received the memo. My congratulations. You still wish to continue fieldwork?"

"Yes sir. For the time being at least."

"Doctor Foster has cleared you, physically. So I sure as hell ain't gonna stop you." He cracks a quick, brief smile.

"But you take care. That's an order. On your way"

"Yes, sir. And don't worry, you've got no concerns here. It's a simple fly-and-retrieve." She says, nodding at him as she exists. She calls over her shoulder.  
"I'll be back with my feet up in a few hours."

He shakes his head.  
  
She makes her way to the Quinjet. Everyone else (bar Thor and Iron Man who make their own way) are strapped in. Steve, in Captain America garb, has taken the helm.

"First mission flying the jet. Airpilot qualified Captain America! We'll have to celebrate when we get back!" Phil shakes Steve's hand from his seat beside him.  
  
"I'm sure we will." Steve adds.

"If we don't die on the way!" Crows Clint from the back, where he sits across from Bruce. Natasha takes her place next to Clint, carefully strapping herself in. Moments later the rumble of the engines have them all bracing themselves for departure. The jet lurches, and Natasha grimaces.

"Right there?" Clint asks casually.

"Bit queasy." She responds, trying to hold back the rising, burning sensation in her throat. She takes a deep breath, and as the jet evens out, so does she. She sighs in relief.

An hour later they land in what is normally on the edge of dry alkali lake beds in Nevada. However, all that they can see of the desert was a tiny clearing in a dense forest. Everyone disembarks into the space, surrounded by vines and lucious plants.

"Unusually green for this part of Nevada..." comments Clint. "Puts kinda a different spin on the idea of "Burning Man". " He turns to Phil "So where do we need to be?"

Phil opens a GPS and points west.

"Half an hour that way. We would have dropped in with chutes- but the foiliage is far too dense."

Everyone gazes at the incredibly thick jungle before them.

"Far too dense..." Bruce observes.

"I know something else that's dense, thick and incredibly green." Clint says, smirking. Bruce just chuckles and walks on.

The trek begins with Clint, as Hawkeye, immediately opting to climb and leap into the vine thickened trees, travelling branch to branch.

"Oh, Tash, you should be up here. It's incredible." He says, whooping.

"Connecting with base instinct, are we, Clint?" She quips, slightly envious. Still, she isn't sure if all the jumping and swinging would sit well with her stomach. It seemed to be doing enough of that on it's own.

They continue walking for a full twenty minutes, casually dropping into conversation. Natasha keeps pace up the front, with Steve. Bruce is the slowest, but only by comparison. They're all delightfully surprised by how well Phil keeps pace.

"Don't look so shocked, guys." He laughs. "I'm a S.H.I.E.L.D Agent. This comes naturally to me. I used to run professional orienteering and geocaching expeditions for fun."

This piece of news delights Natasha. "No kidding?" She says, falling into pace with him.  
"Where?"

"Everywhere. All over the states, Canada too, we've been to the Rockies. We even did one in the Australian Blue Mountains." He pauses, a grin breaking across his face. "I tell you, nothing is scarier than being face to face with a wombat who is the only thing separating you from a final checkpoint."

"Wombats?" Clint asks incredulously, jumping down behind them. "Wombats!?"

"Sure." Phil says. "Territorial as anything. Turns out we'd placed the final checkpoint right above it's burrow."

"Built like a tank, too" Steve calls from ahead. "I knew an Australian soldier who went by that as a nickname. I'm lead to believe that the actual creature is ten times tougher than he was."

"And you did battle with one, did you?" Natasha asks of Phil.

He smirks and shrugs. "Not exactly...I climbed the nearest boulder and waited for him to go away. Five hours later. I would have won if not for the fact I slipped into the wombat hole and sprained my ankle. The next person who passed by helped me out, and well- I had to let them have it after that."

Everyone is smiling.

"Mighty honorable of you, Phil" Bruce says amiably.

They drift into silence as they continue their march. Natasha tries to quell yet another sense of nausea, but pushes through it. Moments later, however, the crunch of five feet reduces to four as Natasha suddenly pauses. Her face has gone grey, and she rushes a hand to her mouth before she gives one single retch. She dashes to the base of a tree, which is entangled in leafy vines. Just in time, too, as she finds herself emptying the contents of her stomach into the roots.

Clint grabs her water bottle, While Steve calls back via the earpiece radio.

"Is everything alright?"

"Natasha is unwell." Phil reports back, as Bruce leans down to help Natasha up. He feels her forehead, as she gratefully takes the bottle of water off Clint, rinsing her mouth and spitting.

"Your temp is up a little, but you've been hiking. Had any fever?"

"Not really, no. It's fine. It's not contagious, either. I've been seen by Foster. She cleared me for this mission."

"What'd she think it was?"

"Nothing I didn't already know about. Don't worry. Not contagious." She tries to hide the smile, but her eyes show it.

Bruce is squinting at her, while everyone else shrugs and continues on. Clicking his tongue, Bruce shoots her a cheeky grin and nods.

"Not contagious, huh?" He smirks and balls his fist, slugging her gently on the arm.

She calmly raises an eyebrow, but says nothing. Though he can see that she's casting a knowing smile as she turns, pressing a finger to her lips.

They can hear Tony and Thor talking minutes before they arrive. They step into another clearing, where Thor and Tony appear to be investigating an object- a machine that resembles a missile launcher in appearance, but is covered in unintelligible scribbling.

"We found the source of the problem, and also have an explanation for the ...lovely Black Rock rainforest we have here."

He thumps the machine, which makes a sudden, loud clanking noise. Everyone jumps into defence mode. Bruce unconsciously takes a few steps backwards, while Steve and Hawkeye raise their weapons. Natasha looks across at Phil who stands en-garde, wearing a curious expression and gazing down at her midsection. He breaks away his glance when she notices.Looking down, her eyebrows shoot up in surprise. In the instant of balting into defence, she unknowingly raised her left hand, floating just above her abdomen. She drops it immediately, and while she can hide the blush creeping up on the outside, inside she chides herself.

"Soooo..." Bruce says, inching forwards. "What do you think we're dealing with, here, Tony?"

Tony is too busy poking at the machine to notice, so Thor answers.

"Stark believes it to be a contraption most phenomenal! It has the ability to increase one's essence to an exponential amount." He indicates the surrounding jungle. "It hath turned but one small shrub into this grand forest reminiscent of the finest to be found in the great woods and groves of Alfheim!"

Everyone turns to Tony for explanation, who lifts his visor up and smirks.

"It's a Hyper Cell Cycle Regulator"

Everyone turns to Bruce, who shrugs.

"Makes things grow fast."

"Ohhhhhhh" They respond in unison.

"Can I see?" Asks Clint, walking up to it. Tony steps between him and the machine.  
"Not sure that's such a good idea, Robin Hood, we don't know what else it does yet. Besides, _I'm_ the engineer"

Just then, without any intervention, the whoosh of a machine booting up alerts everyone's attention to the object, now glowing electric blue, and humming loudly.

"I think we're about to find out..." Yells Phil as everyone ducks for cover, just as the first boom sounds.

The device suddenly bursts into life, a great blue beam shooting out from the tip of the launcher. It crashes into a nearby tree, particles of the blue beam splattering around. Suddenly, the tree begins to crackle- it's bark suddenly lurching,morphing. Great big ripples of bark twisting and moving like lava sliding into the cold ocean, constantly cooling into a solid form yet always flowing like a viscous liquid. Tony bangs his fist on the machine, the beam faltering before stopping completely, dropping particles of the beam upon the forest floor. Where drops of blue fall, sprigs of shoots grow.The bark continues to shed and morph grotesquely, sloughing off as it becomes too thick.

"OK. Now you know what it does." Tony says to a grimacing Clint.

"So what's the plan?" Natasha asks.

"Disable it and take it back to SHIELD." Phil states, stepping forward. Everyone heads over to get a closer look.

"Avoid the pointy-blasty end, 'kay guys?" Tony says, needlessly.

"Were all of us really necessary for this?" Natasha asks.

"Hey, you're getting paid for this, sweetheart- I'm just a volunteer." Quips Tony, but he is soon very involved with the machine, almost lovingly trying to seduce the information he needs out of it.

"You know, I've often wondered if Tony has a "thing" for machines." Clint whispers as an aside to Phil and Natasha. Laughing, Natasha is about to respond when she hears Tony cry out, followed by another loud boom.  
  
The next moments stretch on like an eternity. Mere seconds lasting what feels like ages.

"LOOK OUT" Tony cries, his words overshadowed by the whir of the machine as everyone scrambles.  
"Get right out of the way" Tony yells, slamming down his visor "I've loosened the launcher, so it may be unstable".

Just then the jet of blue bursts forth from the end, the power and pressure of it causing it to tip on it's side.The beam aims directly for Thor, who smashes the great jet with Mjolnir, sending it flying. The recoil of the impact causes the machine to swirl about on the forest floor, sending the blue jetstream in another direction. Smatterings of the blue jet splash either side of Thor, cast off in the aftermath of his strike. Behind him stands Bruce, who is turning, trying to dash out of the way. He is caught on the edge of his earlobe. He gasps, eyes suddenly beginning to flash a dangerous green.  Immediately he sets off running into the forest, getting himself out of range.

"CAPTAIN AMERICA-" Warns Thor. Steve ducks behind his shield, the beam crashing into it and casting off in numerous directions, hitting various items on the forest floor. Two of those items being Clint and Tony, having crashed to the ground. Clint feels a warm sensation wash over his skull. He swears loudly and abundantly. Tony is smashing at the controls of the device, when his visor is splashed. He wipes the blue substance away. Suddenly his vision goes black.

"JARVIS, I can't get a reading anymore."

"The substance seems to be interfering with the suit's scanning capabilities, sir.I predict that we won't be back online for... a minute at least."

"God damn it" Tony lifts the visor, hastily wiping his chin as a drip of sweat falls off. He stops, eyes growing wide in realisation of his foolish action. It's then that he hears the scream. The beam, having been redirected, has now smashed directly into Natasha's middle. Phil, still untouched by the beam, reaches out and drags her out of it's path, his right hand getting a hefty dose in the process.

That moment, Tony manages to shut off the beam. Everyone stops still, daring to do nothing but breathe. They look around as the remnants of the blue jet beam fade into the ground, bushes and plants growing in their place, and some rather unsettlingly sized bugs.

"Let's establish the damage. Everyone report. Who got hit?" Captain America calls out, standing to address everyone. Tony stands, preparing to talk when he notices they are all staring back at him, mouths agape.

"What ith it...thorry...ITH...what the?" He can feel whisps of hair in his mouth, and his tongue feels swollen at the tip. The hair is coarse, it feels like- He removes his gauntlet and feels the area with his bare hand. Eyes widening in shock, he feels the massive beard growth already occurring. He turns to look at everyone else in turn.

Captain America and Thor are looking sheepishly towards Clint, whose hair has now doubled in length, and continues to grow. A flash of green in the corner of his eye alerts him to the presence of The Hulk, who is changing back down into Bruce as he walks, everything shrinking back into the right size. With one exception- his right earlobe doesn't seem to be shrinking at all. In fact it's growing- not an an alarming rate, but fast enough to notice.

"Guess I got a little nervous" He says shakily. "My heart was beating a mile a minute." He wraps his arms around himself, his torso now bare.

Everyone's attention goes to Phil, who is still supporting Natasha with an arm around her back, and hand on her arm.

"Phil, your hand- the skin." She says in a concerned tone, lifting it up. His skin has grown red, cracked and calloused. As though it had been left to grow for weeks without shedding any dead tissue.

"What about you?" Clint says, rushing up worriedly, hair bouncing near his neck. "Where'd you get hit?"

"M...my stomach." She said, placing her hand over her abdomen gingerly.  
"It's itchy, but that's...that's all..." Her breath hitches. She whimpers. "Bruce?"

He dashes to her side.  
"Do you want me to take a look? See if everythings...?"

She meets his eyes, and they all notice the depth of them, her eyes, gleaming in their dampness, threatening to spill over at any moment. She nods.

"What the hell...?" Clint asks. Bruce kneels down as she opens the front of her jumpsuit, just enough to reveal the very pink, itchy looking skin beneath.

"Itchy, that's all I feel. Nothing else." She says as stoicly as she can, hastily wiping away a stray tear.

"I'm gonna dithable the machine." Tony lisps, spitting out a mouthful of beard with his swollen tongue. "Then we're gonna get the hell out of here."

"Hey Tony-" Clint jeers through the long, glorious locks which he flicks over his shoulders, almost enjoying it too much. "Tony, Lemme here you say "She sells seashells by the sea-"

"Shut your hole, Rapunthel." But even Tony smirks at the ridiculousness of it all. "Nothing wrong with a lithp, anyway. Thumb of the greatetht geniutheth have been lithpers." He shakes his head. "Good lord, how many wordth have 'eth in them?!" 

Everyone  slowly begins to chatter, talking through the experience. Bruce gently prods, talking to Natasha in hushed tones.

"I can't feel anything abnormal."

"It would be too early to notice anything-"

"How far along?"

The conversations around them suddenly drop off, piece by piece.

"8 weeks." She says, noticing suddenly how quiet the forest has become. She looks up and every eye in the group is aimed at her, some wearing shock (Steve and Tony) while others, like Clint and Thor, are almost pleasantly surprised.

"I'm thorry...what!?" Tony is the first to speak, cutting right in.

"You're...you're not?" Clint says, slight doubt blanketing his tone, as the crinkling of a smile begins at the corners of his mouth.

Steve's mouth is agape in wonder, while Thor beams.

"How wonderful!" He booms. "Who is the lucky man that has won your favour and laden your womb with the fruit of his line?"

She scoffs, doing up her jumpsuit and pulling herself into a stand.

"No one. I-"

Clint breaks in "Wait, the MACHINE did that?"

"No!" She chuckles. "I used a donor."

Clint seems visibly relieved. Everyone is starting to relax into the idea and are starting to smile and offer congratulations. Only Tony remains aghast.  
  
"Good for you." Says Phil, with an encouraging pat on her back.

"You're pregnant?" Tony chirps. She rolls her eyes at him as she turns to address Bruce and Phil. She takes their hands, one each.

"Thankyou for being clearheaded. Both of you."

Bruce shrugs and Phil smiles warmly.  
  
"Congratulations.You'll be fantastic in this role" He says, almost emotional with joy for her. Typical Phil Coulson.

"We should head back." Steve calls out to everyone. "The machine will go on the jet. Tony, you should probably carry it. Thor and I will stick close. Hawkeye-" He says turning to face Clint. "Will make the way ahead as scout." Hawkeye nods at his leader, ruffling Natasha's hair as he bounces off ahead.

"I expect details, Tash!" He calls back.

"Agent Coulson and Dr Banner, you stay with Miss Romanoff."

They nod, but Natasha breaks into a huff.

"Hang on, I'm not in trouble. I'm perfectly alright here!"

Steve smiles gently, and Natasha feels slightly patronised.

"I know. But you still haven't shown any symptoms from the beam. If something happens, well- you have the two most medically trained people on the team right here."

She sighs and starts walking. "Well, they better keep up with me then." She says, dashing on ahead, the other two following in time, sharing grins.


	2. Your Pregnancy Week by Week. Only Faster.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Pregnancy Intensifies]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (chapters are named after famous pregnancy books. Only tweaked.)

As they walk, the continuous itching on her belly is one of the only two things that bother her. The other is the continuous babbling of Clint and Tony in her ear. They're on the group frequency, so everyone can hear their conversation.

"What brought you to this life-changing decision?" Clint asks formally as he glides through branches up ahead. His voice has an official sounding tone, as though he were interviewing for some shmaltzy newspaper like The National Register.

"I wanted a kid and I was ready for it." Answers Natasha matter-of-factly.

"Who'th the father?" Tony asks. She ignores him.

"Pretty sudden choice, wouldn't you say?" Clint continues

"I've been thinking about it for two years. Actively planning for months. I'm shocked it happened this quickly too. I was expecting it to take longer. Got it in the first attempt. I was going to tell you guys before, but I'm a private sort of person. Needed the right time. "

"Very well. Where ya gonna keep it?" From Clint.

"In a bassinet, then when it's old enough, a crib."

"Funny."

"Who'th the father?" Tony butts in again. Natasha sighs angrily.

"What is it, Tony, couple of nights there you don't remember? Too much fruit juice? Scared you might find out something you don't wanna know about?" She shoots at him, smirking. He scowls at her.

"Fine. I'll thtop. Low move, by the way. But all ith fair in love and war. I'll thtop"

"No, don't. " Begs Clint over the intercom. "It'th adorable" He says, mimicking the lisp plaguing Tony. Everyone but Tony snicker.

"If you don't mind my asking." Bruce interjects. "What service did you use?"

"Thervice? She'th not a breeding mare, Bruthie. Tell uth, Tash. Where do liberated, modern-day proactive women buy their baby juithe?"

The laughter has to die down before she can answer Tony.

"If you must know, I used an online database to find the perfect donor. I searched every bank in the country."

"You mean you uthed mere mortal thpethimenths? Thample...thperm...themen...God damn it, how many eth-words exitht!?"

"If you mean to say you think I'm picky about the genes, Stark. Yes. I was. Very. I hacked into every donor registry and found out every intimate detail about each donor I could."

"What did you find?" Steve asks. Everyone smirks. It's the first he's asked, though aware of modern advances in fertility treatment, they're sure this is making him curious anyway.

"Well" She continues. "I found the perfect donor."

"Who is he?" Clint asks.

"I don't know."

Everyone pauses. Phil casts a shocked glance in her direction. Clint is incredulous.

"How can you not know? You're The Black Widow! Didn't you say you tried to find every detail you could-"

"Exactly. Each time I looked deeply enough, I'd dislike the donor and discard the file. That is until I located a file so highly encrypted even I couldn't hack it. I realized that I was never going to approve of someone once I'd read up enough about them, so I thought- "well, this one meets the challenge". I'm assuming the donor encrypted the file himself. So he has to be smart, and he's highly educated and trained, according to what amount of information was in his profile. I bought it, shipped it directly to myself, via the lab"

"Uh...where'd you locate the ...specimen? Geographically, I mean" Phil asks quietly.

"Would you believe? Mobile, Alabama, of all places!"

Everyone laughs, except Phil. He stops in his tracks.

"He...he must've wanted to keep it somewhere useful."

Tony laughs. "Probably thought he wath doing them a favor. Increathing the I.Q of the area with hith powerful progeny." 

"And you know what?" Natasha adds. "It was almost as if the quality of encryption was SHIELD standard." They all giggle for a split second. That's all though, because it's within a second that they all, bar Thor, stop laughing at the exact same moment. A deep realization creeps over the crew. They all cast their gaze to the one high level SHIELD operative on the mission. Phil stands there, looking pale, shifting his feet nervously.

"Well, you done did it, didn't you Coultho- Phil. Agent." Tony quips. Everyone else stares silently.Even the whoosh of Clint as he falls to a perfect landing on the forest floor doesn't distract anyone.

"I didn't...I mean...I did...but" Phil can't hide it. The blush. "I didn't think she'd be the one to get it. I just wanted to...do something nice for someone out there.Whoever it'd be."

Everyone gasps.

"Wait wait, *I* Wath bluffing." Interjects Tony. "You mean you really DID?!?!"

Phil can't do anything but shrug and nod. They gape at him. That's when the second realization hits. Their collective gaze turns to another member of the team, and Natasha can feel the tip of her ears burst into a red blush as the eyes of the rest of the team, bar Phil, who is sort of looking at the ground- rest first on her eyes, then on her stomach.

Tony bursts into uproarious laughter.

"You knocked her up!? OH MAN, that'th golden!" He aims for a hi-five but Phil just gives him a blank stare and leaves him hanging.Clint is now standing beside Natasha rubbing her back, wearing a bemused, almost shell shocked expression. Natasha looks a little red.

"You alright, Tash? You look a little...angry?"

"HE DID *NOT* KNOCK ME UP, ANTHONY STARK!" She marches over to him, jabbing a pointed finger in his chest- directly atop the arc. "I CHOSE to use a donor service. I had Dr Jane Foster help me with it. Phil didn't know. I didn't know. I picked - all by myself- the person who I considered to be the very best donor." She marches back past the others, and on ahead, calling back as she does so.

"And I still believe I made the right decision!"

The rest of the team shoot the guy a supportive grimace.  
Phil can't help but smile weakly, as he falls into pace, slightly behind the rest of the group..

Sometime later, perhaps only 15 minutes, perhaps hours (time sort of falls into the wayside when deep in thought) Natasha manages to fall back into place beside Phil.

"Hey, it really is OK."She says warmly to him. "It's not like it ties us together. You did something to help out someone else you didn't know. A wonderful gesture. Turns out it was me? I'm telling you, it's not an issue, and I don't expect anything more of you than what you've obviously already given me." She breaks into a kind, genuinely grateful smile. " That's how I see this. A gift. Nothing to be embarrassed about or tiptoe around."

He smiles sheepishly.

"I guess not."

She licks her lips and hesitates to speak, opening her mouth before closing it again. Phil raises an eyebrow. So she continues.

"But...if you want to...you know, be involved with the child. Just...like an Uncle figure or something. That'd be OK with me too."

He smiles. "It...might make it easier, you know, for us to define my connection to the kid, after all. We work in close quarters."

She nods, smiling. "Right. No shame in it. We let them know from day one who you are, and what role you play. It's easy as pie."

They share the moment, continuing to walk in amicable silence. They continue for some time, perhaps only a few short miles from the jet when Natasha suddenly halts, gasping.

"What's wrong?" Bruce asks, coming up behind them.

"I felt something-" Natasha said. "Like...a cramp, only- ow!" She rushes a hand to her belly. "Yes, there it is...it's an ache, it...ow, it hurts- ow, god!"

"Everyone stop!" Bruce calls into the earpiece. "Just need to check something." He indicates for Natasha to lay down, Phil places his jacket under her head, while she opens the front of her jumpsuit again, struggling to undo the zip. Her eyes widen in shock.

"What the hell!?" She says. The others are now rushing back, Clint landing right by her side.

"Holy shit, your stomach...it's swelling!"

"It's...oh god, it's not-"

Bruce is feeling around, eyes focused. He prods in different areas.

"Can I get everyone to...turn around for a moment. Please." They do so. Bruce looks her in the eye.

"Natasha, I'm just gonna check to make sure...maybe you should check to make sure you're not bleeding. Rule out a haemorrhage or..."

"Right" She nods, pulse racing as she reaches a hand down the front of her jumpsuit. She pulls it out moments later, and breaths a sigh of relief.

"No blood-"

"We need to get you back as soon as possible. " Bruce decides. "Tony, you should carry her back to- Tony?!"

Tony isn't there, but they hear him over the earpiece.

"I'm already flying ahead, I'm gonna get back as soon as I can and try to find a way to reverse this damn thing!"

"Hey, your lisp-" Clint notices.

"What?"

"Your lisp is gone!"

Everyone else begins to evaluate their own situation- sure enough, Clint's hair, which he has tied back with a bowstring, hasn't extended past the middle of his back. Bruce feels his ear lobe- it's stopped growing and remains in place. The only people with symptoms still showing are Phil, with his calloused, peeling hand, and Natasha's itching, aching, swelling stomach.

"That makes sense" Says Steve. "He got a bigger dose than the others. The only person with a higher dose was Black Widow."

"So...is it the..." Phil can't finish the sentence.

Bruce nods, pressing gently but firmly into Natasha's abdomen.

"I would say...in the last half hour, this pregnancy has advanced by 5-6 weeks."

"What!?" Natasha bursts out. "I'm only eight weeks along!"

"Hyper cell regulation, the baby is developing at a much faster rate, and seems to be in ratio to the strength and length of your exposure to the beam." He rubs the now reddening streaks of her belly. "The itching is your skin stretching faster than normal to accommodate the growing fetus."

"How fast? How fast is it growing?!"

Bruce quickly does the mental math.

"I'm gonna estimate...maybe ten weeks an hour."

"Good f*&%ing lord" Clint curses. "If she's 13-14 weeks now, she's almost half-way. In another two or so hours..."

This doesn't sit well with Natasha. "No...no! I am not having this baby in two hours!"

"No." Bruce agrees. "No, it has to be sooner."

"What!?"

"The baby is continuing to grow at an exponential rate, and judging by the length of exposure, as compared to when our growth stopped in ratio to our exposure- this baby isn't due to stop growing until...well after it's due. If you don't go into labor early enough, the baby will be too large to deliver by the time you're ready"

She's panting now, in fear. Unconsciously, she grabs for the nearest person. People. Clint and Phil both crash into her side, grabbing a hand or a back or whatever they can support.

"and after? How long will the growing continue?"

"Another hour or so, I'm guessing."

"So you're saying I need to give birth...at 8 weeks...to a baby who is going to be almost 3 months developed by the time it's an hour old!?" She glares, and then calms down, taking on a resolute tone.

"No. This won't do. Tony is going to...to fix that machine, and we're going to get back to the jet, and get me to him so we can reverse this thing."

"I think we need to prepare for a possible c-section at hospital, Natasha" Bruce adds. "But Tony's smart, maybe we can try our luck. Let's move."

They all gather their wits and return to their march, Thor stops slightly ahead.

"I shall diverge from our shared path here, friends. If there is answer to be found in my realm, I shall seek it out and bring it back henceforth." He strides up to Natasha, taking her hand in his. " I will not fail thee, fair mother, in your time of need." With a quick bow, Thor swings the hammer and aims skyward. He's gone in a krak-koom and a flash of lightening.

"Well then!" Natasha says, taking charge as Clint and Phil both help her to her feet.

"What're we waiting for? Let's go!" And with just as quick a pace as before, she marches on ahead.


	3. The Pregnancy Countdown Book. Abridged Edition.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It looks like things are really speeding up, and that's slowing them down.

Chapter 3  
  


"So, how fast is the baby growing per minute if it's ten weeks an hour?" Clint, who has abandoned his tree-top swinging in favor of staying close by, asks of Bruce.

"Pretty god damn fast." Natasha quips, sighing as she pauses by a tree to rest. The front of her jumpsuit is bulging, the zipper almost busting. She arches her back, and begins to rub it for a moment.

"Estimation- 10 weeks an hour was an estimation." Bruce answers. "That would be roughly...one and a half days per minute. Roughly! Not accurate." But he still wears a puzzled expression on his face.

"Natasha, I know it's only been 15 minutes since the last check- but do you mind if I have a look again?"

"No, of course I don't mind." On her own she lowers herself down to the ground, Phil once again placing his jacket under her head, sitting down just beside her. Clint squats next to Bruce who has unzipped the jumpsuit, with difficulty.

"Oh, Tash-" Sighs Clint, lightly tracing the obviously irritated stretch marks on her skin, so quickly forced that the lines are dotted with little bruises.

"I was prepared for those-" She says, not sounding too bothered. "They hurt, though."

"What can we do about those?" Clint asks Bruce.

"Uh, I might have something-" Steve says, walking back down. He is carrying with him a couple of thick, spikey looking leaves.

"Aloe vera- rub it into your skin." He hands them to Natasha. "Part of basic training was survival first aide" He says proudly, feeling of use to the situation.

Natasha hands one of the stems to Clint, taking one herself. Glancing up at Phil, she hands it to him.

"I'm happy to just lap up all the attention I can, if you don't mind. I'm being cheated out of nine months worth of TLC."

He smiles and takes the stem, following Clint's lead of snapping the ends, squeezing out the clear gelatinous fluid inside, and gently rubbing it into her now very round belly. She sighs the moment the fluid contacts her skin, bringing instant relief to the burning, itching stretches. They rub,  pausing only as Bruce moves his hands to prod at different spots. Clint is working on one of the side marks when he and Natasha both make a delighted sound of surprise.

"Woah!- Tash, did you feel that!?" He says, wonder in his voice.

They all look to her face, a pure wonderment and emotion filling her eyes.

"I did!" She says, voice light. "I did!!" and she bursts into a delighted giggle.

"It was right here-" Clint says, poking into the spot. On cue, the spot suddenly pokes back, the skin bulging for a moment before going still. Everyone starts laughing and expressing their awe.

"That's your baby!" Clint says. "Oh wow- Tash" He's laughing and despite himself, tears prick the corners of his eyes. Natasha looks to Phil, whose own eyes seem to be betraying him, a light mist having filled them.

"Hey, Phil-" She says, tapping him on the arm. "Go ahead." She picks up his hand, still calloused, but no longer shedding, and places it on the spot.

"Come on, little buddy" Clint urges. Phil holds his breath.

Moments pass. Then he and Natasha both gasp, before bursting into grins.

"You felt it?" She asks him, giddy with joy.

"I felt it!!" He says, a tear rolling down his cheek. He's laughing now.

Steve is standing by, and Natasha motions with her head for him to come on down.

"You may as well too." Steve's nervous expression stays plastered on his face as he nervously kneels, placing his hand on the same spot near Phil's. He pauses- hesitating. Not sure if he felt something, but then, slowly, his puzzled expression opens into a broad faced grin.

"Wow!" He says. He's lost for words. All he can say is "wow".

Everyone is grinning, joyful and laughing. Except Bruce. Natasha stops and holds her hand up, and they quieten down.

"Bruce?" She says.

He sighs, biting his lip.

"You're growing a lot bigger than I would expect for someone at 25 weeks, which is where you should be, if my estimations were right..."

"So it's growing faster?"

"Maybe."

"Then we gotta go. Right now. No more rest stops." Natasha accepts the help from Phil and Steve to pull her up, as Clint goes to do up her jumpsuit for her- only.

"It'sss...not gonna go up." He says, tugging at the zipper tag, finally letting it go. "Nope! You've outgrown it."

Natasha smirks.

"Oh well.Let's move" and with that, pushes forward, belly bulging out the front of her outfit. She walks a few steps before stopping abruptly, she shakes her head and looks back. "I'm...gonna take a restroom break first. Last stop. I just..."

But they all nod understandingly. She heads over to a nearby clump of bushes and a tree. They stand around ho-humming as they hear her struggling with the jumpsuit. Steve coughs at a specific point in a vein attempt to provide Natasha some modesty. Clint just laughs, and to all of their surprise, starts to sing.

"In the jungle...the mighty jungle." He smirks..."Black Widow tries to pee."

"Clint!" Steve admonishes. But he can hear Natasha laugh.

"In the jungle...the mighty jungle...Black Widow tries to pee!"

He's trying not to laugh as he does it- but his voice cracks in a chuckle as he breaks into a falsetto.

"WEEEEEEEE-Hee-heee- HEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! Black Widow tries to pee"

She's laughing so hard now, everyone else can't help but join in.

"Clint, that's disgusting" Phil says through a smirk.

But then they hear her stop laughing, sturggle for a moment- then a grunt. They shut-up.

"Tash? Did I send you into labor by making you laugh!?!?" Clint asks, only semi-joking. Everyone else suddenly looks tense.

"No!" She calls back. "But I'm...stuck. In a squat. I can't get up...my back's resting too low against the tree and I can't lever myself because I'm all out of balance now."

Everyone looks at each other. Bruce tentatively calls back.

"Are you decent?"

Clint snorts, Steve thumps him. Phil grimmaces.

"Not exactly...maybe Bruce...since...doctor and all..."

Bruce sighs and shrugs, glancing back at the appreciative looks on all the other guy's faces as he follows her voice to behind the trees. The others stand around awkwardly as they listen to the conversatio.

"Oh, geez, you are stuck!"

"Get me up-"

"Hang on, lemme just...step over-"

"Careful!"

"I didn't step in it! OK, now, if I grab your hands-"

"Wait, don't lose balance-"

"Holy- it's OK, missed it"

A pause.

"Tash, you're in a really good spot right now"  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"I mean, your position is perfect"

"For?"

"An exam..."

"You mean...?"

He whispers. "Gestationally speaking, you may be beginning to dialate..."

The three men waiting in silence all start to choke. Silently.

"Um...do you know how?" She asks.

"I did an OB round in Med-school, before I moved into Genetics."

"Really?"

"It fascinated me."

Another pause.

"Do you have gloves?"

He pauses. "No, not right here."

That's when Steve grows another awkward look on his face. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a bottle of hand sanitizer. Clint raises his eyebrows in silent approval, and nods in the direction of Bruce and Natasha's voices. Steve blanches and shakes his head violently, pushing the tube into Clint's hands. Clint shakes his head. Natasha is his best friend, but there are somethings even best friends don't share. He pushes it into Steve's hands again. Steve takes a deep, almost pained breath and is about to step in the direction of the trees when Phil grabs the tube out of his hand and walks ahead.

"Grow up, you guys" He says, casting them a cheeky grin as he heads through the trees.

"Here-" He says, but all he is greeted with is what sounds like a squeak of shock

"Oh...oh my god, Natasha, I'm...I'm _So_  sorry, I, I, Ithought you would be facing the other way...the sound of your voice-"  
  
"Chill, Phil" She says quickly, a little embarrassed.

Clint snorts. He can practically hear the blushing.

"Give it here," Bruce demands. They can hear the quick shuffling of Phil's feet as he darts back out of the trees.

Steve is blushing in sympathy with Phil. Clint is smirking.

"Get a good look, Phil?"

Phil just shakes his head and thumps Clint in the shoulder.

"What did I say?"

There's talking again, from Bruce.

"Yeah...yeah, you're dialating now. Only a centimeter. That's normal for this phase of pregnancy. We really need to get you back."

"Yeah. No more breaks. For real this time."

They hear the sounds of struggle as Bruce pulls her to her feet. A few moments later, they walk out of the bushes, Natasha thankfully clothed, bar her even rounder belly. She looks about ready to pop.

"We may not have much time. An hour tops, we've got to get her back." Bruce says.

"Then we can't waste anytime." Clint says, walking over to Natasha. "Sorry, I know you're gonna hate this but- we're gonna carry you."

She laughs, shaking her head.

"No you're not."

"Yes we are" Steve says, walking closer.

"No, you're not!" She says, seriously this time.

Clint, Phil and Steve all look to each other for a brief moment, but all nod their heads and grab Natasha around the middle, hoisting her up between them. She goes deathly white.

"Put me down" She says quietly.

"Not a chance."

But she looks really concerned.

"Please put me down" She begs. They oblige, and as they do, she moves from a walk almost instantly into a crouch, gasping and grasping her stomach. 

They rush to her side immediately. Phil and Clint supporting her shoulders and back as Bruce leans down to rest his hand on her abdomen. She's whimpering- but she says.

"It's...it's gonna happen again."

It does, she gasps, and Bruce presses his hands close. He nods his head.

"That was definitely a contraction."

They go still, the joviality of moments before forgotten.

"We have to get you back." Bruce says, pulling her to her feet. " A c-section as soon as possible. If that baby is full-term, every minute is a day overdue."

"Will it die?" She asks thickly. "If it grows too big to be born naturally, will it suffocate?"  
Clint- and Phil, especially, look stricken.

Bruce shakes his head.

"As long as the umbilical chord is still connecting you, the baby will get oxygen. But that doesn't buy us much time."

She nods, and doesn't complain when she's hoisted into Steve's strong arms. She looks over his shoulder to the two men behind him. She reaches her hands out, Phil and Clint grabbing one each. They don't say anything, it's just a moment of comfort. They stay right by her side as they continue their journey.


	4. The Official Lamaze Guide:Giving Birth With Confidence...when everything falls apart.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some surprising revelations, and it's time to get into that breathing.

The Quinjet is in sight when she asks to be put down. "We're almost there, Tash, let him carry you-" Clint coo's.

"Please-" She gasps. "It hurts too much this way, I need to brace myself."

Her fingers are starting to clutch into Steve's shoulder, so he stops. Phil helps Steve lower her to the ground, taking her by her arms as she's lowered to her feet. He moves to let go, but she holds fast to his forearms, using him as support when she leans down, planting her feet apart. She let's out a low groan, which ends in a whimper. She seems to be starting to sway with the waves of pain, so Phil lifts her arms up around his neck. He rests his head beside hers, and holds her up underneath her arms. They sway, almost like a dance. A few moments later and the pain has passed. The swaying stops. She stands back up, and wipes a tear from her eye, smiling at Phil.

"Thanks Phil, that was a pretty big one. Where'd you learn that trick?"

"Saw it on TV once."

She smiles, and points in the direction of the jet. "Almost there." She says in as upbeat a manner as she can manage.

She decides she wants to walk the last few hundred feet to the jet. The first 20 or so steps go fine, but pretty soon it's obvious the jumpsuit is just not going to cut it anymore. Her arms and legs look like they're being sliced into, and the front of the suit is so far stretched that her sportsbra has become visible. She's plain uncomfortable and looks back at the men walking in behind her.

"It's fine, Tash." Clint says, rubbing her back. "I'd have begged to stop miles ago."

"I've never felt this crap." She groans. It's a jesting tone, but it's obvious she's getting weary.

"Once we're on the jet, we'll get Jarvis to do a scan and run up an internal." Bruce says as he walks up. "It'll be better than a sonogram any day."

She frowns. "I never even got to have all my little milestones, like sonogram pictures, baby shower-"

In response, Clint wiggles his fingers and mimics a shower of rain dancing down over her hair and onto her protruding belly. "There ya go. Baby shower." He grins stupidly, rubbing her arm.

She smiles her tired smile, sighs, and patiently waits to be picked up, this time by Clint. She notices that he struggles a bit more with her than Steve did, but appreciates the effort and gesture so much, she simply nuzzles her head into his neck, and rests it there.

A moment later they're on the jet, and she experiences another deep contraction. She tries to hold it in, but this time she can't help but cry out, real sobs. She wracks out her fears-

"I'm not ready for this. I'm just not ready, it's not fair."

Clint takes a spare cloth, splashing water over it and brings it to her face, wiping it. She groans again, crying and shaking her head as she accepts the assistance of Clint and Phil to help her through it. Phil once again starts rocking her, Clint rubbing deep into the small of her back, providing slight relief. Steve has taken the helm and is preparing for an immediate flight to the nearest hospital in Reno. They take off.

Bruce calls the AI.

"Jarvis, I'd like you to get a full scan on Black Widow please. Specifically the pregnancy. Let us know anything that may help."

"Certainly, Sir" Moments pass, and the AI reports. "Miss Romanov is currently sitting at six centimetres dilation, however, gestation appears to currently be approximately six months."

"That's impossible!" Clint shouts. "She's huge!- No offence, Tash"

"None taken"

"The impression of largeness would stem from the large amniotic sac around baby A. Baby B rests slightly more to the side, hence the rather round impression."

Everyone is in shock.

Natasha is shaking her head, she begins a nervous sort of unbelieving laugh. It turns into a cackle. Everyone else is watching her, too uncertain of how to take her reaction.

Bruce blows out through his cheeks in an expression of brevity. "That explains a lot"

He looks over at Natasha. She's silently shaking her head, very slowly. Then, more quickly as she looks up, eyes intense, in denial as she glances at each man standing there.

"I'm not having twins" She says with finality. "I found out I was pregnant three weeks ago, I am not ready to have twins!"

Clint moves to stand in front of her, holding both her arms, looking her straight in the eyes.

"Agent Romanov. Your mission, and this is non-negotiable, is to do your best. Your co-agents here are Agent Everybody On This Team. Your partners here are us. Steve's helping, sure. But Phil and I are here, Bruce is the Doc, and this is a SHIELD mission. Mission: Double Baby." He waves his hand across in an expression of space.

"Double Babies all the way, across the sky."

 

She smiles appreciatively at his joke, but it's too dumbfounding a revelation to deal with. She shakes her head, letting out one sob as she looks plaintively to the ceiling, holding a hand over her mouth. She looks back.

"I'd be thrilled if I wasn't so frightened."

Phil moves to stand beside her. Gently, he places a hand on her shoulder, pausing to gauge her reaction before pulling her into a hug.

"Natasha" He says into the side of her neck. "There are two beautiful babies waiting to meet you. Your mission isn't to be ready on the spot. All you have to do is let us get you through this so you can hug them and love them for ever. You're gonna meet your babies sometime today, sometime soon." He brushes away the fearful tears brimming in her eyes.

"The short timing doesn't mean anything, because love is forever."

Her breath shudders, but she's smiling. "You should write for Hallmark." She tells him haughtily, briskly wiping away the tears.

"Alright, time to get moving" Bruce says, taking charge. "Everybody strap in. He calls up to Steve in the front. "Got a time on Reno?"

"Couple of minutes in this beautiful beast." Steve says of the Quinjet as they fly. "How much time does she have. I mean, it's too early for them to be born, isn't it? If they're 6 months?"

Bruce does the mental math again, getting very proficient at it.

"Well, it's still at 10 weeks an hour as I presumed, they're at 24 weeks now, just over half way.So ideally, the babies would be delivered by c-section in 2 hours."

Natasha chimes in. "Then why Reno?"

Bruce looks at her with a curious expression. "Because it's closest. There's prep to do for surgery..."

"We could be in New York in just over half an hour- 50 minutes top in this thing. Call the hospital ahead of time...that way if Tony reverses the machine soon enough, we can use it to fix the babies."

Clint shakes his head. "They're fine, they'll just grow a bit faster. It doesn't hurt. Better to be safe than-"

"Can we try? At least let's try. This labor is still early enough. I'd rather be in New York than Reno. Close to everyone and more specialists." She looks at them all in turn, resting finally on Phil, who is sitting with his hands on his knees, a frown on his face. "Phil?"

He sighs.

"You deserve to give birth where you want, but at the same time the priority here is safety- for all three of you."

She nods. "Absolutely. Absolutely."

He rubs his hand through his thinning hair. "What if we...aim for New York, but plan emergency landing in any number of hospitals between here and there?"

Natasha nods fiercely. It's a good compromise. That's when the next one hits. Her hands go to her belly, massaging it as the contraction moves throughout the area. She draws in a deep breath, but in her nervous state, she accidentally hyperventilates. She breaths it out quickly and tries to take another in, but she cries out when a particularly harsh contraction wracks her, and she misses the chance to breath in properly. Caught in between trying to deal with the pain, crying and breathing, she feels her head swimming. She can't get a decent breath.

Two pairs of hands grab her and she hears another person shuffling quickly. The room is spinning and they're talking.

"Stop! You need to breathe in, Tash." Says Clint.

She takes in a shallow breath. "It...h...hurts" She gets out between a gasp. "C..can't get..." She groans. "Enough breath."

Bruce has rushed over with an oxygen mask and places it over her mouth. It helps a _lot_. More oxygen in each small breath allows her to stop her head spinning and calm down. Her head lulls to the side, resting between a headrest on the chairs. She quietly breathes in and out for a few moments, as the pain finally subsides.

"That's better, you're ok." Bruce says, checking her pulse. She smiles weakly. "Sorry, I freaked out."

"Understandible." Clint admits. Bruce nods in agreement, but adds "Yeah. Might be time to start panting during contractions."

She laughs weakly. "I needed those seven months I had left to learn all this crap." She rubs her belly gently.  
  
"Oh well, I guess it's better to be over and done with in one hellish day."  
  
Phil smiles, touching her knee slightly with his hand, before bringing to his chin to rest on it.  
  
"By the end of this hellish day, you'll think of it as the most magical."  
  
She smiles, nodding slowly. "Do you feel that way?" She asks of him. "Does this feel magical to you?" She chuckles at herself, because she doesn't really feel it, she's almost saying it ironically, but he smiles and nods.  
  
"I know I don't count as their father or anything. But it's magical to know those are lives I helped start out. All of it's magical. Life is magical."  
  
She pauses, a soft realisation washing over her. "Of course. The helicarrier...when you die- when you nearly died."  
  
He nods. "It's...sort of what inspired this whole thing for me." He admitted. "I couldn't get enough of life once I came through it. I'd never had time for a family of my own, but I just...I just had to know I was contributing to life somehow. In a tangible way."  
  
She reaches out and takes his hand, placing it on her rounded belly. Leaving it there, she finds another spot, resting hers there.  
  
"It's not the usual, traditional means of things" She said. "But we deserve to be proud of this. As proud as anyone out there. We made this."  
  
She laughs once again at the idea of it all.  
"I still can't believe it turned out to be you." But she's being warm, genuine. "You probably feel the same way."  
  
He shrugs and nods his agreement.  
  
"I think it's worked out for the best, though" She says. "It's nice to know where you come from."  
  
She frowns sadly, casting a glance at Clint, who smiles sympathetically. She looks back at Phil.  
  
"You're not just a donor to them anymore. Let's face it, you've been here the entire Pregnancy, comparitively anyway."  
  
He wears a puzzled expression. He's not sure what she's saying.  
  
"I agree that you have to define the role you play in their lives. Not so much as a...an official parent..." She looks at him and he's nodding. He knows, that's what he went into this whole thing knowing. It was his intention all along. She just needed to clarify, to see where he stood.  
  
"But you're important- I didn't intent to do this, I felt it was too sentimental. Nothing but honorifics. I changed my mind."  
  
She pauses, and nods her head. "Yes. I want to make you a godfather. For both of them."  
  
His broad grin is felt by everyone in the jet.  
  
She looks across to Clint. "Why not two, right? Uncle Hawkie?"  
  
He scoffs at the name, but he's nodding. "I'd be honoured."  
  
She smiles, and closes her eyes. "Two Godfathers."  
  
They rest quietly for a few minutes, lapping in the coolness of the jet, the peacefulness of the moment. But it doesn't last. Tony's voice breaks out over the speakers.  
  
"I got it, you guys. I tweaked that mother and programmed it to perform a reversal of sorts."  
  
"Of sorts?"  
  
"Well, not an actual reversal- that would cause stuff to shrink back. It just re-calibrates the growth spurt. Brings it back to speed. A better solution, wouldn't you say?"  
  
"Well, I sure as hell didn't go through an entire pregnancy in a day just to have it returned to 8 weeks. I just accepted that I'm doing this today."  
  
"Good work MamaBear." Tony quips. "Now just make your way back to Stark Tower and we can-"  
  
"Uh, Tony, you need to get the machine to the Hospital, we need to get Natasha straight into surgery" Bruce interrupts.  
  
"No can do, Big Guy- not unless she wants to have the kid and bring it back here to fix up. I've got SHIELD all up in my grill here. Something about misuse of paraphernalia, improper procedure, out of line yada yada. Fury ignored my message, so I think you may have to let him know what's going on."  
  
Natasha looks livid. "Surely he's been informed!" She shouts. "Get him on in here, and I'll inform him. Oh yeah, he'll be informed."  
  
"I can arrange that" Jarvis states. "This should be entertaining."  
  
The comm buzzes and a moment later, Fury can be heard.  
  
"What in the f%#$%ing hell is going on with...who changed the channel?! I'm on a different network! I will RIP his rusting, metal ass to piece-"  
  
"Director Fury," Natasha begins. He hasn't heard. "Director!" She shouts.  
  
He stops. "Romanov?" He queries, hearing her voice."What the hell is happening with your outfit?"  
  
Clint smirks, talking out of turn. "Bursting at the seams, sir." He and Phil chuckle, but everyone else is rather serious.  
  
"No time for jokes, Barton. Get serious." Fury cuts in. "Coulson? Are you there?"  
  
"Yes sir. I am. We've had an unexpected medical situation that requires immediate attention. It also requires the use of the unregistered machine."  
  
"I haven't heard anything about this. Usage denied, we have no clearance for it."  
  
That's when she feels the next one. She cries out, pulling herself up out of her reclined position and leaning as far forward as she can go. Bruce calls out. "Pant, Natasha. You need to pant. I'm putting the mask back on, ok?"  
  
Clint has dashed to her side. Phil wants to do the same, but is still on call with Fury. Fury has heard. "What's that? Jesus Christ, _please_ tell me that isn't Natasha!"   
  
Phil sighs. ury continues.  
  
"I *knew* she shouldn't have been cleared for this mission". His voice is unusually anguished. Genuine pain.  
  
Phil continues. "Sir, she will be fine, but she is in labor. If you would review Stark's messages-"  
  
"What messages?...All I have are notes from "Osama Bin Laden, the Bearded"- Was that him messing about? Does he have any idea about protocol?"  
  
Everyone sighs loudly, except for Natasha, who is panting, Clint by her side, Bruce timing the contraction.  
  
"Sir," Phil continues. "Review them. For your peace of mind, Natasha has had her pregnancy accelerated and is currently in active labor. We need to have Tony transport the machine to the hospital."  
  
"The machine can not, under any circumstances, be transported into a major urban area without being cleared."  
  
"But sir-"  
  
"Trust me on this, Coulson. I would if I could, but we can not endanger the entire city for one SHIELD operative. Even if it tears us apart to do so. What other options does she have?"  
  
"Deliver the twins at Stark Tower, where they can be immediately treated by the machine which Tony reprogrammed-"  
  
"HE F&^#^&$*^ DID WHAT?"  
  
"REPROGRAMMED-" Phil continues, talking over Fury. "To fix the infants once born." Fury has paused. He can hear her whimpering as she pants, valiantly fighting through the suddenly strong labor which she couldn't have been prepared for.  
  
"What do you need?"  
  
Phil sighs happily, and looks at Bruce. Bruce gets up and starts talking. "We need a surgical team, an OB kit, anasthesia- preferably epidural but we can work with a general if we have to. We need incubators, a Neo-Natal kit, possibly even a NICU if we can manage it. Otherwise immediate transport to a NICU, just in case."  
  
"We'll get it all there-"  
  
Phil adds. "If you could also arrange a full Nursery set up for Twins to be delivered to Natasha's residential address, including infant supplies, and have it set up. That would be a big help."  
  
Fury swears again. He must have missed the part about twins.  
  
"So, all that OB and surgical stuff, Neo-natal teams times two, nursery kit and everything new babies need times two as well. We'll get it all there. It'll be waiting for you when you get back. You hear that, Romanov,? I'll be in touch."  
  
But Natasha's response is to cry out- , this time in shock. Clint, who had been sitting beside her, jumps to his feet. He looks down the side of his pants, where a large damp patch now sits. Natasha looks up at him, but it's not apologetic. She just shakes her head at yet another revelation.  
  
Bruce's eyes go wide. "Jarvis, can you get a reading on Natasha's dialation for me?"  
  
"Absolutely...if you could recline, slightly, Miss Romanov, for my scanners sake..."  
  
She does.  
  
"Miss Romanov is fully dialated at ten centimetres. She should be moving into transition at-"  
  
"HOLY SHIT, F#$%^*# PAINFUL, HURTING PIECE OF-..."  
  
"Any moment, sir." 

Bruce has jumped between her knees.  
  
"Help me get her out of the suit" He says glancing at Clint and Phil. Clint unzips the rest of the suit, pulling her arms and legs out, stripping it out from underneath her. Bruce lifts her forward as Clint removes the jumpsuit, While she removes her panties. Clint is grimacing apologetically. She just shrugs it off.   
  
"Was gonna happen at some stage today-"  
  
Phil rushes to grab whatever he can. First aide kit has a blue sheet, he grabs it. Out of the suit and sitting in just her sportsbra, Phil drapes it over her abdomen for a little privacy. Clint is looking a little shellshocked, but handling the situation well enough, considering it's his best friend on that chair.  
  
Bruce has sanitized and donned gloves. "I'm going to do an examination, Tash"  
  
She nods, lifting her legs up to rest on the chair, holding herself up with her hands under her thighs. Clint reaches under one leg to help her hold it, while Phil does the same on the other side. She can relax a bit now with them holding her legs up. While supporting her, Phil reaches for the damp cloth from before, and washes her face while the examination occurs.  
  
Bruce let's out a low whistle. "You went into an early labor- it's common with twins. I'm feeling your cervix, which is completely dialated now."  
  
He nods at her. "And it looks like Baby A is in position, ready to make an entrance. I'd say twenty minutes is all we have left."  
  
She's staring at him, open mouthed, then she glances up to Steve. "Steve! How far from Stark Tower?"  
  
He calls back nervously. "Twenty five minutes?"  
  
"Contact them!" She orders confidently. "Call Fury AND Tony. Tell them to have everything ready to go in the loading bay. Then see if you can make that twenty five into fifteen!"  
  
"Yes ma'am!"  
  
Steve immediately follows her orders. She looks back down at Bruce.  
  
"So, on the next contraction?"  
  
"Push." He says. "Push, because once that baby is in position, that placenta isn't gonna be there much longer. Our focus is now to get them out of there in time. Twenty minutes will get them into month 7, and we have oxygen here."  
  
Clint rubs his face, shaking his head in disbelief. "At first it was the worst thing ever- that growth beam. Now it's gonna save their lives. Born too early, grow quickly, live."  
  
Natasha nods, sighing. She pauses, a thought crossing her mind. Then she laughs.  
  
"It's funny, you know. This morning Fury told me to take it easy. I said I would, and that I'd be back with my feet up in hours."  
  
She glances at everyone sitting with her. Bruce removing the gloves from his hand, Clint and Phil holding a leg apiece, and her sitting there with her hands resting over her middle.  
  
"I didn't mean like this."  
  
They laugh. It eases the tension, but they brace themselves. The biggest challenge is about to arrive.


	5. What They Don't Tell You About Labor: Especially on a jet.

Chapter 5

She can't do it. It hurts. It burns. Too big. No possible way- these are the only thoughts running through her mind as she strains through the ten seconds, sweat rolling in great droplets down her face, leaving her red hair plastered in tendrils to her temples. She can sense someone wiping them back. She can hear the words of the one squatting in front of her as she sits on the chair, legs being supported and held aloft by two people beside her. He's down there looking for something. He's remaining extremely calm. She wonders how he does it, but then she considers who he is and how far into the world he's travelled. She wouldn't mind travelling.

Wait, where did that train of thought come from?

She realises the pain is ebbing away and with a great release and intake of breath, she relaxes, breathing methodically, but drinking it in like she's never had it before. It's good.

Thirsty.

"I- I'm thirsty" She says breathlessly. "Clint, could you pass me the water-"

Clint nods and reaches to a water bottle beside him, holding it to her mouth as she drinks. After wards, he pours some onto the cloth and wipes her face for her.

"Can't be too long now." He says encouragingly.

Bruce is setting up some supplies on the ground- it's the OB kit, opened and ready for the imminent arrival. Baby A. He performs another examination, gently tucking his gloved finger inside, checking for any potential dangers.

"Next time I think you'll crown, the heads almost here. No umbilical that I can sense around the neck..." He nods. "And with fifteen minutes of pushing, you're making excellent progress."

She smiles weakly, and leans her head back. Phil is beside her, and his shoulder is right next to her. She lowers her leg, and he moves his hand to his knee.

"Can I borrow your shoulder?" She asks. He nods. He shuffles in an attempt to sit beside her, but she opts to lean onto his chest instead.

"This is better actually" She says, muffled by his shirt. Clint smiles across at Phil and begins to rub her back, while Phil wraps one arm around her side, resting it on her upper back, while lightly petting her arm with the other. The sheet that she had been using is now all but discarded. It sits on the floor beneath her. She doesn't really care about modesty for the time being, and the others don't care either. Heck, she'll probably watch the CCTV footage of this later. She thinks about forcing Tony to sit down and watch it as well.  
  
She can't continue this entertaining train of thought though, as another wave of contractions begin.

"It's here-" She says, shifting back to the "position" of earlier. The three present assume their stances too, becoming well practiced at it.

"OK, I'm gonna push-" She says, coaching herself. "Come on Tash, push!" and she does.

Bruce's eyes are focused, but a light enters into them and he begins to smile.

"There we go! You're crowning!"

Clint's eyes shoot wide and he leans down to see for himself. He immediately leans back.

"That...wow. I mean...woah." He can't quite convey exactly how horrifying yet invigorating the image is.

Phil leans down to take a glance as well. He beams, once again wiping the hair from Natasha's temple as she pushes.

"It's the most terrifying and enthralling thing I've ever seen." He says quietly to her."Do you want to see?"  
  
She's stopped pushing by now, breathing quietly. She turns to look him in the eye. She doesn't say anything or smile, but nods her head. Phil looks over to Bruce.

"Mirror?"

Bruce nods and grabs a hand mirror from out of the first aid kit. He holds it down at an angle. It takes a bit of trial and error to get it right, but the tender, trembling "ohhh" from Natasha tells them when she see's it.

She reaches out almost as if to touch it- wanting to hold it in her arms already.

"Soon, Tash" Clint says, wiping her body down with the cool cloth. "Super soon."

She nods and leans back, closing her eyes. She doesn't even open them when Steve calls from the cockpit.

"There is a minor problem."

Everything goes tense.

"Well?" Clint demands.

Steve gulps, and continues.

"We have to re-plan our path due to an emergency flight landing just inside New York. It'll delay us slightly.Maybe by ten minutes"

"We're due to land in NYC in five minutes! How is this possible!?" Clint cries out angrily.

He gently levers himself out of the seat and marches up the front.

"Are you saying we'll be up here another FIFTEEN minutes?"

"We have to circle around, there's an emergency landing occurring shortly that's using up a fair distance of our flight path. "

"Why can't they-?"

"They can't change! We can. It's what we have to do!"

"Can't we just fly beside it?!?"

Steve gives Clint an incredibly frustrated look. "That isn't how it works Clint..."

Clint swears in excruciatingly pained tones. He moves back to the others and slumps back into the seat. Natasha shakes her head at him.

"It's fine, Clint, one will be air-born." She chuckles. "Ha. Get it?"

He smiles to humor her, but he's not happy. Bruce doesn't look too peachy either, but his stress management is impeccable as always. They don't like to think about how things would be if it weren't.

They can't dwell on it too much, anyway, as Natasha arches in her seat, crying out- achingly, desperately. She tries to raise her legs, but the other two get them for her first. Balling her fists up in their shirts, her toes curl as she groans, straining. Pushing. She is determined to bring this life into the world.

"Almost there-" Bruce says joyfully. "The heads here! We've got the whole head! Just gotta get the shoulders and they'll be her-"

The plane jolts.

"What was that?" She cries out fearfully.

They look up the front.

"The new path has unexpected turbulence, it'll pass. Just hold tight, ok? We're almost through it."

Another jolt, followed by a sudden drop, before leveling out. Everyone rushes to grab whatever they can to stay put, Clint and Phil both wrapping their arms around Natasha's front with one arm each, desperately holding onto the chairs with their free ones. They hear a loud thunk and a crash. They look to the floor before them. Bruce is holding his head, a large gash has appeared where the loose First aid kit collided with it. A drop of blood spills. He looks up at them, terror in his eyes as his breathing speeds up, almost panting. Natasha stares at him, mouth opening in horror as she locks her blue eyes with his eyes.

His green eyes.

He lurches forward, balling his hands into fists as he tries to fight against the rage.

"Come on, Bruce-" Clint yells, jumping down beside him. "You fought it all day, you've gotten this far! Don't do this now!"

Natasha pulls Clint back. "You'll only make it worse-" She says quietly. She can only watch.

His muscles pop and bulge, arms lengthening and bulking up as his skin turns green. It's grotesque and they can't do anything but watch. Clint jumps up and runs to the cockpit.  
The being who was Bruce is increasing in mass, height and anger. He roars, smashing his fists into the ground.

Natasha cries out again- not at him. The child's head is going unsupported, and Phil is desperately trying to reach his arm down without stepping in front of the Hulk.

He roars again, thinking that the cries are from someone who is trying to incite him, but then he stops- mid roar. He sniffs the air and gazes down. His eyes scrunch up and he growls. He see's- the smaller human. She is in trouble...she is in pain. He knows about pain. The other puny human is trying to do something- hold something. He gets down on their level.

Phil freezes, breath coming in shudders as he tries desperately to support the baby's head. Natasha opens her eyes- and reaches out-

"Bruce...Hulk..."

The Hulk looks at her hand, twisted up in Phil's shirt, knuckles white. He looks down to between her legs, lifting his head to one side as he studies what he see's. He looks quickly back up to Phil. Snorting, he grabs Phil by the cloth of his shoulders, pulling him down to the floor. Both he and Natasha yell out in fear.

But nothing happens. The Hulk merely drags Phil to a position in front of Natasha, and steps back, looking around for an exit. He gets frustrated when he sees that he is trapped. Phil has to tear his eyes away from the Hulk and on to the task at hand. His hands immediately jump up to rest around the baby's head as it slowly slides out. He can see from this angle how incredibly painful it must be for Natasha- skin stretched as far as it can, so far it tears and bleeds in places. She's whimpering.

A loud smash distracts him for a moment, The Hulk is trying to break the doors open. He turns back to her.

"Are you contracting?" He asks her.

She shakes her head- but pauses. Then nods. Then let's out a vocalised cry.

"Good, good girl" He knows she'd hate if he said that in any other circumstance- "Push 'em out, Tash- almost there!"

Everything that happens next feels like a dream. Almost as if time passes by in slow motion.

She strains, Phil guides, the Hulk SMASHES.

She pushes, Phil smiles. The Hulk SMASHES and Clint is running into the back of the plane with his bow and arrow drawn. Steve is cursing as he flies.

She cries out. Phil nods his head, beaming. The Hulk SMASHES and Clint aims for the release button on the hatch. An arrow flies.

She takes a deep breath, Phil urges her to push again. The Hulk SMASHES jas an arrow hits the button. With a great hiss and grinding sound, the hatch opens and the Hulk falls, shock and anger plastering his face as he disappears from sight.

Clint's sure Bruce will understand...

She's pushing, crying, yelling. Phil is smiling and he's moving closer, arms going in. Clint is running over to Natasha, grabbing her hand and practically jumping in support with her.

She let's go her breath. Phil is laughing and something is sliding into his hands. He's scared he'll slip. He fumbles but pulls it close to his chest. He pulls up a spare white cloth and bundles it around what he is holding. He's laughing. He rocks back and forth. He's crying. Clint is cheering, ruffling Natasha's hair. She's sobbing with a great big smile- holding out her arms.

Clint has his arms up, hovering under the bundle as Phil stands to pass it over to Natasha, who takes it hungrily, holding it close to her chest and wrapping her arms around it in the first embrace.

She cries, she kisses. She smiles. She breathes.She rubs. She clears nose and mouth. She kisses.

It takes a breath.

She cries.

Along with her mother, she breathes and she cries.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do love a review or too :)


	6. This Woman's Work (Oh it's hard on the donor)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait, guys- we've had a wedding, a couple of holidays and I've been at a Convention for most of this year and the end of last year.
> 
> Should be getting the next chapter in more quickly, and it's going to wrap up soon :) Keep enjoying!

"Hello-" She says, voice steady with her effort not to become overly emotional. She gazes into her daughter's squinting eyes. She manages to hold her steady as she flinches, another contraction wracking through her body already.

"I'll hold you again soon, little one." She says to the babe as she hands her over to Clint. "I have to get your sibling out first."

Phil sits beside her, holding her hand and wiping her forehead with a damp cloth as she breathes through the pain. Clint cradles the infant as he sits by her other side. They hear Steve call from the cockpit.

"Not long now, I promise. Ten minutes."

Phil blows out through his cheeks, checking his watch. He places a gentle hand on Natasha's abdomen.

"I think number two will hold off 'till we land."

"I hope so." Natasha replies. "My legs are starting to cramp." She eases herself up and readjusts the sheet over her, even though the other two have already seen everything.

"Do you have a name idea for her?" Clint asks, gazing down at the little girl.

"I think so. It has always been between Yana or Sofia for me-" She looks down at her small girl, already growing . The babe clenches her fists tightly, and begins to wail a high pitched cry.

"She's hungry" Natasha says matter-of-factly and takes the child from Clint. She leans forward, letting Clint unhook her bra for her. She slides it off, Clint takes it while Phil adjusts the sheets around mother and baby to give them some more privacy. Natasha shifts her daughter around for a few moments. She grimaces when the child latches on, but this soon gives way to a look of awe and wonder.

"This has got to be the most god-damn beautiful thing I've ever seen" Clint whispers. Natasha laughs lightly.

"Blood and guts everywhere, lots of surprises around every corner." She says, casting him a playful glance. "Just like Budapest."

He shakes his head.

"This is way better."

A few minutes pass in silence. Then, suddenly as the baby is suckling away, Natasha breathes in harshly.

"Uh-oh, awkward timing" She says, wincing through another contraction. Phil lowers the sheet and massages her belly, holding his other arm around her back as she continues nursing. Clint places one hand under the baby while rubbing her lower back.

"We'll figure this out. Once she's full of fuel-"

"More like gas..."

"Right...once she's full, she won't need topping up for another two hours, or something, right?"

She winces, nodding while arching her back and curling her toes, but holding tightly to her nursing child, who let's go and begins making distressed noises.

"Oh no, little one-" She says to the baby, who Clint is taking from her arms and rocking.

"It's ok, Nat, she's had a little."

"She's growing double-time, she must be sta-starved" She stammers out, wincing as she gazes worriedly at the baby. She pants, but this gives way to a shuddering gasp as an altogether new pain takes her attention.

Phil is looking down between her legs, his eyes growing wide with concern.

"Can you feel that, Nat?" He asks of her. She shakes her head.

"Kinda numb down there at the moment..."

He squirts hand sanitizer on his hand, rubbing them together furiously before reaching his hand down gently.

"I...I just wanna check to see how things are going, if you don't mind?"

She looks him in the eye.

"You think something is wrong?"

He doesn't say anything, but reaches between her legs, examining carefully. He gently inserts a finger and she resists flinching. His hand meets with something solid, but he's not sure what.

"I...I can feel something, but it's not a head." He says, gravely.

Natasha doesn't need to hear anymore."JARVIS, full scan, please." She demands.

"Of course, Agent."

Apart from the soft hiccups of the baby being soothed in Clint's arms, everyone is silent.

"It would appear that the infant is presenting as a "footling", ma'am."

"What does that mean?" Natasha asks, tension and fear on the edge of her voice.

"It means that the baby is in an incorrect birthing position. Head first, face upwards is preferable, though facing down and breech are both fairly common. Footling infants are in a breech position with one leg extending down the birth canal, while the other remains inside the womb with the rest of the body."

"What!? You mean like sliding on a pair of fucking pants?" Clint curses.

"So if I push, the baby will be injured- and the baby is in distress." Natasha establishes.

"Unless you are rushed in for a c-section immediately, preferably before further contractions- the baby risks extreme injury and potential death, as would you, Agent Romanoff."

She nods her head, remarkably stoic. Phil shakes his head in wonder, but realizes that as a spy and assassin, she is reacting the way that is most instinctual to her. But he does not have the same reaction.

"STEVE!" He cries out to the front. "GET US BACK, DAMN EVERYTHING!"

"On it!" He calls back.

Natasha cries out, another contraction beginning. JARVIS has the heart-monitor running and the baby within is increasingly distressed. Tears are rolling down her cheek.

Phil grabs either side of her knees.

"Natasha, we'll get through this. You're both gonna be fine."

"Every second counts, Phil-"

"I know." He says. "I'm gonna do what I can." He rubs her legs gently, before re-santizing his hands and donning gloves.

"I'm going to push the baby's leg back in." He says, "I'm gonna try, if you want me to- or we can wait."

She is panting, her eyes growing wilder with fear for her child's life. The monitor is continuing to show deterioration of vitals in her second child. She shakes her head.

"No, do it. Do it now. Whatever you can. I didn't come all this way to fail them now."

Both the men with her know exactly what she means. The Red Room and her traumatic childhood within it. The serums that had so long been thought to prevent her from ever having children. This very day and it's labors. Her child now resting in Clint's arms, and the one yet to be born.

Phil nods his head once, and focuses all his attention on his task. Gently, he inserts a hand. Natasha gasps and slips her feet onto the chairs, sliding her hands underneath her thighs for something to grip onto. Clint can only cradle the first baby and watch on in agony.

Natasha is focusing on Phil's face. She takes comfort in the intensity of his attention. All of it directed at his task. She can feel him pushing gently inside.

"I've got the foot, and it's moving back- I..." He pauses for a few moments longer, and Natasha can actually feel the shifting of the baby reacting in her womb.

"I...I think it's at the base...it's knee is bending a little but-"

Natasha chokes out a pained sob, but Phil smiles.

"It's back in the womb. Whole baby inside...and it's moving"

He slips his hand out, and the three of them take a collective sigh of relief.

"We're not out of the woods" He says. "But it should hold till we land and get you into surgery."

At that point, Steve calls back.

"1 minute to landing. Calling ahead to make sure the surgical team is there on arrival."

Phil and Clint both sigh in relief, but Natasha cries out.

"Another contraction" She says. "Hnnngh- a really bad one." She blanches and groans.

"Ooohh, that doesn't feel good" She slurs. She looks at her companions, who are speaking in increasingly frantic tones.

"She's bleeding, she's fucking bleeding all over the place!" Clint is crying, and the baby is crying. Phil is calm, but his demeanor is tense.

"JARVIS!?" He calls out.

"Placental tear, sir. She needs to be treated immediately."

Clint swears, and wraps his arm around Natasha's shoulders.

"I'm here, Tash. Not leaving you." He presses the baby into her bosom so she can cradle it. She knows what he is doing but won't give in.

"Not dying Barton." She says dryly, fading as the blood spills from her.

Phil is frantically massaging her abdomen.

"Ten seconds to landing!" Steve cries out, voice thick with emotion.

"You'll be ok Natasha!" Clint says.

Phil is only focusing on massaging, when he see's it.

"You're...the baby-it's head is engaged. I can see it in the...the cervix"

Natasha is on the verge of passing out, her skin deathly pale.

"If I pass out, get it out- don't worry about my...just save." She goes limp.

The jet lurches and a lumbering thud brings them to a halt.

They've reached the tower. The door bursts open, Jane and two SHIELD medical staff rush aboard. Steve dashes back from the cockpit and visibly pales at the scene, his face set grim. Tony, Fury and a recently returned Thor are standing outside.

"Oh god, she's bleeding out." Jane says, crouching down. "And the baby is definitely engaged, we're running out of time for a c-section" Reaching up to pat Natasha's face, Jane calls to her.

"Natasha, wake up- can you hear me? Come on, Natasha, wake up and meet your baby. It needs you!"

One of the medical team pull out smelling salts, while the other hooks up an IV and a bag of blood, they hand it to Phil to hold upright. Natasha is groggy but she starts to wake up.

Jane checks the vitals JARVIS has displayed on the monitor.

"We need to get that baby out immediately, and it's too close for a c-section-"

Just then Bruce, now returned to his normal state, rushes aboard the jet. He looks exhausted but otherwise fine. He's carrying a box of medical equipment.

"Bruce-" Clint starts to say apologetically.

"You did a good job back there, Clint. Even managed to drop me into a lake. Coolest landing I ever had..." despite his attempt at humor, his mouth is set in a grim line and his tone is concerned.

He joins Jane and sets the box down. She's performing an examination.

"Baby is definitely in the canal, Station +1. The vitals are not good. This baby needs to get out"

"I've got forceps-" He begins to say and Jane sighs, looking at him.

"Is that really our only choice?"

"There's nothing else?" Phil asks, desperately from where he kneels, holding the blood bag upright. "There...the vacuum, c-section, anything?" He looks over to Clint, who is watching the other medic closely as he checks the baby girl over. He glances back to Natasha as Bruce speaks.

"Natasha's not strong enough to push or anesthetize, and we need to get the baby out, we don't have a vacuum kit. If we could improve the baby's vitals, we might wait, but that placenta is torn and the baby is trying to support itself now. We've got to get it out."

Phil sighs, holding the bag as he glances down at Natasha. She is floating in and out of consciousness, while Bruce sets up the birthing kit, handing Jane the instrument.

Bruce and the other attending Medic shuffle in and hold Natasha's legs up in lieu of stirrups. Phil can't help but gaze down nervously. A gasp in the doorway alerts his attention to the presence of Fury and Stark. Tony looks frighteningly serious as he grabs Steve by the shoulder, pulling on his arm.

"Give them privacy" He says, wrapping an arm around Steve's shoulder, while eyeing Phil, Natasha and then Clint with the baby. He squeezes Steve's shoulder, walking him out.  
"Just in case." He says. Steve casts a deeply troubled glance backwards, but leaves with Tony.

Fury doesn't register Tony and Steve's presence as they push past him. He simply stands there, gazing. Face expressionless as Jane performs the procedure.

Jane has the instrument inserted when she senses movement in front of her. Natasha has stirred and is trying to sit up, revitalized by the blood being returned to her, even as she bleeds.

"Get her another bag!" She cries out, "Natasha hon, you're having the baby you need to sit really still, okay? I've got to use forceps."

The medic has changed the bag and Phil calls out to Fury.

"Hold the bag!" He commands, and Fury is over within two steps, gripping the hook like his entire life depended on it. Phil immediately drops to Natasha's side, supporting her around the shoulders with one arm, and holding her firmly around the front with the other in what looks like a big hug.

"It's OK, Natasha" He says. "I've got you, Jane and Bruce are here- Fury's here. Clint's with your little girl and the second baby is on it's way. You don't have to do a thing."

She's still groggy, but she can feel the contraction and whimpers. Phil grabs the cloth and wipes her face and chest, using the cloth to brush her hair right back before returning his arm to it's comforting position wrapped around her chest.

"Here we go- that's right!" Jane says, growing confidence as the crown of the baby begins to show. She's pulling gently, but quickly.

"Almost- almost!" Bruce says, pushing Natasha's leg back with his left arm as he reaches his right hand in- already gloved- to help guide the baby through the stretched opening.

"Come on" Whispers Fury sternly. Phil can only hold Natasha and hold his breath. Just then, a flurry of movement, Natasha lets out a weakened, pained sob while Bruce, Natasha and Fury all simultaneously cheer a victorious "Yes!". Phil takes in a shuddering breath and continues to hold Natasha close as she falls limp in his arms. She's still bleeding profusely. The baby is blue, and silent.

"We have to get both of them inside, now!" Jane calls, she hands the baby over to the other medic who begins working on it immediately, puffing breaths and rubbing it vigorously as they walk briskly out of the jet.

"What about the growth?" Clint cries, holding the other baby to his chest as tightly as he can without harming her. "We need to fix her!"

"Tony is outside, get the first baby out there with the OB medic!" Bruce commands. He nods and moves outside immediately.

A gurney has been brought in, and Natasha is loaded onto it. Phil is shaking. His hand is still wrapped around her shoulders and he is struggling to let go.

"Come on, Coulson" Fury demands. "You've done your job, let her go." Phil shudders and forces his fingers to unclench themselves from around her shoulders. Suddenly lacking that solid form, he falls back. Fury steps out and grabs him, but in his emotionally weakened state, Phil is unable to hold himself up. Supported by Fury, he falls to his knees. He bends over. For the first time, sobs and emotion completely overwhelm him, the floodgates he had kept at bay, even while crying earlier, are released. He sobs. Fury continues to hold him firmly around the shoulders.

"Time to debrief, son"

Phil shakes his head.

"Gotta stay with them" He cries.

Fury says nothing but continues to act as a solid form to support Phil as he gazes around dazedly, face dripping with tears and mucus, which he wipes with a spare tissue Fury finds in the first aide kit. Phil shudders again and asks, hoarsely.

"Where are they?"

"The kids?"

Phil nods.

"One is in medical, she...she's having some trouble."

Phil shakes his head in disbelief.

"She's fine- she was just here! She's healthy! I delivered her myself, she's fine!"

"No, you delivered the first one, she is with Tony, Clint and the OB. She's about to be returned to normal growth rate. The second baby, by forceps, is not yet breathing on her own"

Phil looks a little confused, but it dawns on him. Fury nods.

"Natasha has two little girls."

Phil sighs, wipes his eyes and smiles sadly, while hiccoughing another sob.

"Yana and Sofia" He whispers, collapsing fully into Fury's arms, grabbing onto the man's shirt, while the other man only holds his colleague firmly, saying nothing, but understanding everything.


	7. Parenting with Heart(s) (like, heart times 3)

Phil let's out a disgruntled sigh as a nurse checks his blood pressure for the fifth time.

"I know you feel fine, Agent Coulson, but policy is policy." Says the nurse as he pumps, before recording the results on a clipboard chart. Phil is sitting on a chair in Stark's penthouse kitchen. In front of him is a table with a tub of warm water on it, and in the tub Phil rests his hand, the one that had been calloused by the beam. The nurse places a towel on the table.

"Ok, how's the hand?"

Phil lifts if up, and brings it to sit on the towel. The nurse pats it dry and lathers some moisturizer into it. Phil speaks.

"So, I just keep doing this and it'll go back to normal?"

"Or therabout, yeah." The nurse signs one more box on the chart and packs up the gear. "Ok, that's you all checked out. Once the SHIELD doctor clears you, you're free to leave the building."

He smiles and nods, and the nurse dismisses himself. Phil stands and walks over to the window, where he stares at the cityscape, but he isn't seeing it. He's deep in thought. In his mind the images he has witnessed fly before him. Natasha- slouched in a pool of her own blood, while medics rush a blue faced baby girl to the crash NICU set up in a laboratory of Stark Tower. He recalls his clothing- he has since changed- splattered in blood and mucus from the first child he himself delivered into the world.

The door slides open, and he turns to see Tony, Steve, Thor and a freshly barbered Clint, hair trimmed back to it's original length, walk in.

"Well, I don't know about you guys, but that was the best post-mission physical I *ever* had to endure." Tony says, leering. "Nurse  _Trixie._  I wonder if that's her real name..."

Tony goes to pour some drinks while the others find places to sit down in the lounge.

Thor opens the conversation with news.

"I managed to pry Jane away from her most important work for a moment to inquire about the health of our dear Black Widow".

Phil and Clint look up at him, wearing no expression, but full of expectation.

"She is in what Jane called"Recovery" but I am lead to believe this does not mean she is recovered as such, but is no longer being intensely treated."

"Yeah, that means she's out of surgery." Phil responds. Thor nods thoughtfully.

Clint speaks "Did she say anything about the girls?"

Thor pauses for a moment, obviously thinking- and then visibly brightens.

"Why yes! The elder sister is doing wonderfully and has not shown any excess growth in the past hour. All is well,and she is thriving. Jane said you may see her."

Phil and Clint grin in relief. Thor's face falls, though, as he continues.

"The news is not so fair for the younger sister..."

He is about to explain the situation to the best of his understanding when Bruce walks in, looking haggard, cup of green tea in his hand.

"Hey guys." He says by way of greeting. Phil and Clint immediately stand and both start speaking over the top of each other and at breakneck speed. Bruce is taken aback by the rush of of it as they're asking questions of him. He holds his hand up to stem the verbal flow. They want to know about the younger baby.

"Please Bruce, anything you can tell us at all..." begs Clint.

Bruce's lips are set thin, but he speaks.

"She's not out of the woods. She's in an incubator and will need oxygen for a while, she's not breathing quite strongly enough...but-" he says, noting Phil, Thor, Clint, Steve and Tony-with-Martini's downcast faces.

"But...she  _can_  breathe on her own"

They all slump with relief. Tony downs the martini and goes to mix another.

Bruce continues his report.

"She's stable. As long as she doesn't face any more complications, there's no reason she shouldn't make a full recovery. We've already recalibrated her hyper cell regulation, so the rest is up to time and tlc"

"Can we see her?" Phil asks.

Bruce raises his eyebrows.

"Huh? Yeah- didn't they tell you? Yeah, go for it- they're in the same room, go on-go for it!" He downs his tea- it had gone cold long ago- and waits for the others to can't move fast enough. Phil and Clint are out of the room in seconds flat, followed by Bruce. Steve hangs back.

"I think I'll give them some quality time before I barge in on the moment" He says, looking back and frowning just as Tony glances at Thor and tinkles the second martini he holds in his hand, Thor breaks into a mountainous grin, nods and joins Tony in the first of what will probably be many toasts. Steve rolls his eyes.

"I knew I'd be babysitting sometime in the near future..." He says. "But this is not quite what I meant." Still, he's laughing as he goes to join them.

They enter the lab-turned-NICU, where the medical team hover about, keeping a close eye on everything. Jane is sitting on a stool between the incubators that rest side by side. She has her eyes focused on a chart in one hand, but her other hand is sitting through the access hole in one of the cribs, where the elder sister lays making those cute but odd grunting noises little newborns do. She's only wearing a baby-beanie, socks and a disposable diaper but the crib is warm, and Jane has a hand resting on her chest, which is settling to her. The other incubator has a smaller baby in it- laying still. As they get closer, they can see her stillness is due to her sleeping. She has a naso-gastro tube in her nose, but she's breathing well with the oxygen-rich air being slowly cycled through her incubator. Phil and Clint wander closer, eyes intense with emotion. They're smiling. Bruce walks close behind, with his hands in his pockets. The three of them feel quite accomplished, and the exhaustion is showing. Phil yawns.

"Oh! Gosh, when did you guys get here?" Jane says startledly, realizing they're standing before her. She holds the chart out so a nurse can take it from her hand as she smiles up at them. She keeps one hand on the baby, rubbing her chest gently.

"Skin-to-skin contact is essential for baby development in the first hours of life." She explains,looking up at them. "Seeing as their mom isn't quite out of recovery yet, would you guys like to step in as surrogates for a moment?"

Phil and Clint look between each other, not exactly certain what she means.

"It's easy." She says, gently removing her hand from the elder baby's chest, who grizzles slightly at the lack of contact. She stands. "Ramirez-" She says, addressing a nurse. "Record in the book- I, Dr Jane Foster, authorise Agent Phillip Coulson and Agent Clint Barton" She folds her clipboard and grins up at them, a great twinkling in her eyes.

"for kanga-cuddles."

"I...what?" Phil asks, taken aback.

"The heck is a "kanga-cuddle?" Clint asks, bemused. The dragging of chairs alerts their attention to Bruce, and another person- pushing two recliners over to the incubators. The second person speaks.

"It's a special cuddle for NICU babies- well, any baby really- but especially NICU babies." She says by way of introduction. She realises she hasn't formally met them, and continues

"I'm Dr Shivani Ramakrishnan- the Neo-natal specialist Fury brought in."

She holds out a hand, Clint shakes it first, then Phil. He can't help but feel a tingle of happiness at the smooth, chocolately warmth that eminates from this woman's hand. A genuinely friendly soul. Her eyes crinkle as she smiles at them, before gesturing to the recliners. "Please, take a seat- oh, and remove your shirts, please- we'll bring you some gowns in a moment. It's to keep the area as sterile as possible."

She walks over to a trolley and from underneath it grabs two blue gowns, open at the back. She hands them to the two men.

"Normally these are worn the other way around-" Jane says. "But if you guys just put them on with the open part to the front, that'll be perfect."

Soon, the two men are standing there, feeling slightly awkward with their mismatched, slightly too tight gowns, but they're still curious- so they await instruction.

"Ok, now- if you don't mind, can I check your chests for temperature?" Dr Shivani asks.

Phil coughs, Clint just smirks while she feels each chest, palm flat against the surface.

"Mhm...well, there we go" She says. "Agent Coulson has the warmer chest- we'll put Baby B with you. Agent Barton, if you follow Dr Foster's lead, she'll show you what to do. Agent Coulson-"

"Please, Phil is fine-"

"Alright, Phil." She says, eyes twinkling as she leads him over to the chair. "I'm going to take the baby out of the incubator. Nurse Ramirez is going to have the sling ready, and I'm going to gently place the baby against your upper chest. Then, while you're still standing, Ramirez and I will strap her so tight to you, she'll feel just like she was in the womb again."

And without more than a moment to nod his head, it's happening. Dr Shivani is exquisite in her handling of the infant, who with all her tubes and monitors, she manages to place firmly against Phil's chest. She guides his hand up to support her head as she assists the nurse in strapping her in with the pink sling. Soon, she's strapped tight to his chest, curled up like a little jelly bean, head resting on it's side, arms tucked up. Sitting against the warmth of his chest, she seems positively comfy. Phil's hands reach up and gently cradle his precious cargo.

"Ok, now sit down very slowly- she's still hooked up-" He does so, and once he's fully sitting, the nurse reclines the chair for him. Sitting back like this, he has a great view of the little baby, breathing away peacefully in her sleep. It's then that he remembers exactly whose baby this is- Natasha's- and it brings an extra ping of warmth to his heart.

Then he remembers the *other* detail. The role he had in their life- not just their birth, but their conception. He knows it's not technically his place, but he allows himself the brief guilty pleasure of looking down at the little girl's sweet face, and thinks to himself-

"You made her."

He glances up in shock when he realises that his thoughts had been said out loud- but not by him. He looks over at Clint, who winks, and smiles down at his own bundle.

"This one too. How does it feel?"

Phil just sighs and shakes his head, eyes welling. He doesn't know if he can ever explain these strange emotions.

"I mean, I know that we're technically just the godfathers," Clint continues."but you know- they're gonna grow up looking a bit like you. Thinking a bit like you. Without you- if it was some other random donor out there- they wouldn't be these exact baby girls we're- and you can't deny it- falling head over heels for."

"He's right you know-" Comes a croaky voice from the doorway. They both break into great grins of delight at the sight of Natasha on a gurney, being wheeled in by Bruce- he must have left while they were being "kanga'd up." as Jane kept referring to it.

"Tasha!" Clint says joyfully, his voice in awe. She's wheeled over and her gurney is lowered. Phil can't help but think how utterly terrible she looks- run over by a train ten times over, exhausted, smelling faintly of blood and immensely of disinfectant, hooked up to bags of fluids, and her eyes. He thinks she has this look in her eyes as she gazes down at those girls and it's...

Well. It's the most god-damn beautiful thing he's ever seen.

"The look suits you guys, by the way. Remind me to snag a couple of those slings for myself."

Clint chuckles. "Man, she is strapped in so tight, I could do backflips off a building and she'd be right happy."

Natasha smiles and chuckles- but it's obvious laughing causes her discomfort.

"Sorry. Stitches in really...really uncomfortable places. TMI"

Clint waves his hand dismissively.

"Nothing will ever be TMI between us ever again after today-" He brightens "I..I'll even go buy your sanitary supplies like you always wanted me to."

Her face doesn't light up again at the joke. In fact it softens, her eyes fill with sadness.

"Actually, that's not gonna be a problem anymore." She points to her lower abdomen- where her baby bump is still very evident. "I'm meant to be the perfect specimen, but years of damage by the serum, combined with sudden uterine growth, birth and all that jazz- it took it's toll." She sighs deeply.

"They couldn't stop the bleeding. They had to give me a hysterectomy."

Clints face drops, and Phil speaks. "I'm sorry to hear that, Natasha."

She shrugs, as best she can. "I'm not overly fussed, you know?" She says, voice still soft and raspier than usual. "I never ever thought I could have kids of my own- and now I have two- oh my gosh..."

She pauses, suddenly it has dawned on her, the utter immensity of this moment. Her mouth gapes in awe and her eyes are watering.

"I have two daughters!" She laughs once. "Aha- I have  _two daughters_! I'm a mother!" Her face crumples and she breaks into tears, sobs heaving. She tries to take a breath- she looks distinctly uncomfortable, yet full of joy at the same time.

"Ahh...ow...it *sob*...hurts- *heave* to cry tears...ow...of joy." Clint, not being tied to machines by tubes, stands up slowly and moves to stand beside her, one arm cradling the bundle on his chest, the other slowly tracing her hair with his hand gently. He turns to the Doctors.

"Mom's here now, can she have a go?" He says, pointing to baby.

They nod and assist him in handing the little girl over.

"Oh my goodness, hello my beautiful one-" She says as her arms are filled with the now bundled up form of her eldest child.

"You're Sofia. Yes you are." The baby gazes up at her with squinting eyes- and lets out a big yawn. Natasha's eyes are filled with tears, her mouth a gorgeous warm, white-toothed smile as her eyes crinkle with laughter.

"Copy that, Agent." She says sympathetically "I know exactly how you feel."

She hugs her in silence for a moment before looking over at Phil. She wipes a tear from her eye.

"and you have my strong little soldier-"

"Yana." He finishes for her. "Yes. I have Yana" He says, looking down at her again. Natasha's mouth puckers into a most gracious, appreciative smile.

"You remembered."

He nods.

In moments, the Doctors are over again, removing the little one from him, and carefully manouvering the gurney around so that Natasha is able to hold both her daughters at once.

"Hey girls." She says, voice thick with emotion. "See? Together again."

Her eyes are flowing freely (dabbed at by a hovering Clint). She marvels at the two little ones in her arms, and she soaks in every piece of information that the doctors are telling her. She is thrilled to learn that Yana will be off the machines within a few days- and her nasogastro-tube will be removed this evening. She can even start breastfeeding them.

Hours pass this way, taking turns to cradle them. Moments where they're back in the cribs, asleep. First feedings. First diaper changes (Jane had the honour,but promised the next turn to Clint)

Natasha is cradling Yana a while later, when she looks up at Phil and Clint with a deep, trusting look in her eyes. Bruce is standing there as well, gazing down at little Sofia, after finally being convinced to "live a little" and hold her.

"You're her godfathers." She says to them at last.

Phil and Clint nod. "Yeah, you said on the jet-"

"The three of you."

Bruce looks up in shock. "Na...nuh-uh, I...I'm not really..." He fumbles with his words, chuckling nervously as he glances between everyone and the baby in his arms. "I...I'm not the fatherly type..."

"You were there. You did  _so_  much of the-"

"I did what any doctor would do-"

"You were more than a doctor, you were a friend-"

"I can't- I..."

"Come on-"

"I Hulked Out!" He cries finally, a little tensely. Sofia grizzles a bit and he breathes in and out slowly, calming himself and rocking her back into a lull. He looks up at the others, wearing an expression as if to say "See?"

"You did." Phil says. "But even the Hulk helped out."

Bruce raises his eyebrow. Phil is encouraged to continue.

"When the Hulk was thrashing around, he looked down at Natasha- realised she needed help- and pulled me into the job. I delivered Sofia, but you made sure she came into the world protected."

Bruce looks astonished. He was stumbling over his words.

"Well, that's...I mean that's...that's..."

Natasha smirks. "Incredible?" She offers.

"Yeah." He says, breathing out in a smile as he gazes at the little girl, whose lips are smacking as she snuggles. He sighs again.

"But that was still only in part-"

"Fine. Half-godfather then."

"I...what?"

Natasha is wearing a serious expression. She means business.

"Half-godfather. I won't settle for less. You shouldn't either."

Phil and Clint are egging him on. "Come on, Brucey- join us." Says Clint. "Best godfather trio in the world. They'll never be without awesome in their lives."

"Ahhh man-" He says, shaking his moppy head back and forth." I guess I have to now..."

They all cheer, slapping him on the back- and Natasha pulls him down to give him a light, platonically chaste kiss on the lips. She looks at the other two.

"Both of you- over here. Let me lay some lovin' on the godfathers."

They both bend down for their pecks. At that moment, the room is electric. Almost a buzz with energy and warmth. The whole world could have been a great big toasty room, and the whole world was that room.

"I think we just became a family." Phil says, looking at everyone. His heart is full to bursting. Everyone nods.

The babies, snuggling in loving arms look like they agree wholeheartedly, as they are passed back and forth between their mother, who showers them with affection, and their Two and a Half Godfathers, who have never known love like this before.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading guys!
> 
> One more chapter- an epilogue- to go!
> 
> Eeee! Sorry it took so long, I just made myself sit down and get it out. Uni has had it's reigns on me, gah.
> 
> I'm already planning another baby-themed fic (what can I say? I'm obsessed)
> 
> (Treemeadowisobsessed)
> 
> But the next one will be...Hawkeye centric.
> 
> Hawkeye and someone else.
> 
> Someone not exactly female.
> 
>  
> 
> You'll see.
> 
>  
> 
> THANKS SO MUCH GUYS!

**Author's Note:**

> Whaddya think? I was bored today and this wormed into my head. So naturally I knocked up a quick fic.
> 
> lol, pun intended.
> 
> Reviews make me smile!


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